The Tissues Are Coming! The Tissues Are Coming!

We have arrived, people.

Winter in Mississippi.

There are lots of nice, pleasant things that occur during winter.  There's Christmas, Memphis Tiger basketball season, my birthday...nice, pleasant things.

But then there's that one thing that we all love to hate.

That one thing that hits you like a brick wall and shows no mercy.

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The Common Cold.

It's a heartless creature, the Common Cold, and I'm its unfortunate victim this week.  I've tried to fight it, and I've had some success, but I still can't breathe out of my nose.

It all started Monday morning when I woke up with a small scratch in my throat.  We all know of those scratches, the ones that start out small, and you're like, "oh, okay this won't be too bad."  But then not even two hours later you're metaphorically (or literally) screaming out in pain.

I believe at that point there's some cruel-hearted little minion in my throat with the coarsest sheet of sand paper there has ever been, and he's just a sanding down my throat.

After the day I had Monday, my throat has got to be as smooth as a baby's bottom.

Every time the Common Cold hits me, it goes through the same cycle.  It starts with the sore throat, and it's on that day that I consume more milk than I think the cows can spit out for me.  Too bad I was out of milk and didn't make it to Walmart until Monday night.

I tried to fight it off that day, to keep it from progressing.  I got out my cold-eze things that my friend told me to get.  They've got lots of zinc in them, and they're supposed to help.  So I sat with that thing in my mouth while I was on my laptop.  

I was so glad when it had finally dissolved.  That thing was nasty. 

It worked for the next, eh, maybe thirty minutes and then the Cold was back.  "Nooooooooo," I thought.

I knew what was next.

Soggy cardboard.

My friend (the same one that recommended cold-eze) a few years ago had a cold and told me she felt like soggy cardboard, and I said, "you know, you're right.  That's exactly what it feels like when you've got a cold."  Sure enough, the next time I got a cold, I knew exactly what she meant.

So what, you say, does it feel like to feel like soggy cardboard?

First, there's the sniffling and runny nose.  That's a given.

Second, there's the coughing.  So much coughing.

Third, every muscle is sore.  I mean every one.  They all hurt, and all you want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep forever.

Really, there's just that overall pitiful feeling.  If the Common Cold strikes you down this winter season, remember this when you reach the soggy cardboard stage.  You'll agree with me then.

The soggy cardboard started Monday night.  It started small, which was good I suppose.  It gave me the chance to go to Walmart and buy milk and Zycam, which I heard does wonders for pre-cold symptoms.

Except by the time I got the Zycam in my system, I was way past "pre-cold," so that didn't do any good.  Just my luck.

Tuesday was oh so miserable of a day.  I woke up and just about couldn't move.  Every muscle cried out, "oh please, don't make me move."  You know, it wasn't really much of a cry as it was a pitiful moan, "noooo...uhhh...noooo...don't..."  Soggy cardboard and chemistry labs do not go well together.  And by don't go well together, I mean not at all.  Band was so cold, oh so cold.  The wind was such a jerk.  Luckily I had thought to wear about fifty million layers, and whatever time we weren't playing was spent with my scarf pulled up to my nose.  

My hands though, felt like icicles.

Back to Walmart for gloves.

I found some super cheap gloves and cut the tips of the fingers out of them (clarinet players need their fingers to play), and I must say, band was quite better today.

While I was at Walmart, I made a miraculous discovery.

Up front, Walmart had a bin full of various cold/flu and allergy drugs.

Off-brand Robitussin and vapo-rub for $0.88 each.

Uh, yes please.

It's like Walmart knows the struggle.

Thank you, Walmart, for being my friend.

I came back to my dorm like a child at Christmas.  This little bottle of miracle juice would help me!

I must say though, it was a true test of my inner strength.

You know you're a big kid when you can take Robitussin on your own free will.  That stuff is so nasty.  But I took it, all three nasty teaspoons of it. 

Then I slathered vapo-rub all over my chest and neck.  "I will breathe tomorrow," I thought.

And you know what?  I woke up this morning, and I could move.  I could generally breathe.  Another dose of Robitussin before I went to class, and I was off to face the day!

And while I still feel pretty crappy and I still can't breathe through my nose and I still need a box of kleenexes right beside me almost 24/7 and I've still got a tiny cough, I'd like to say I feel better than I could.  I mean, I could still feel like soggy cardboard.

And who wants to feel like that?

Time for my nightly Robitussin and then it's off to do laundry and clean my dorm room.

Winter is here, people, and it's here to stay for a while.

But you know, as usual, we'll be lucky to get four snowflakes here in Mississippi, and God bless us all if we get a whole two inches.

I know regardless of how I feel, I'll be out there with half of the campus on this big hill we've got sledding the mess out of it.

It really is a terrible hill, and it's such a pain to have to walk up everyday, but that one snow day will make every trek worth it.  Or at least that's what I tell myself.

Until then, I'll stay in my cozy dorm room and ride out this Cold.  That is until it's time for class and band, in which case I'll put on my marshmallow gear and face the freezing temperatures. 

The moral of this story? 

I would say don't go outside ever during the winter, but I can see how that's somewhat unavoidable.

So the moral is as follows:

Go to Walmart and buy milk, Robitussin, and vapo-rub.  You'll thank me later.

Stay warm.

Mo